


Not-so-imaginary Friend

by rudalu (orphan_account)



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Babysitter Dipper, Contains annoying OC child, Kissing, M/M, Object Head Bill Cipher, Old enough to legally drink, Older Dipper Pines, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 16:00:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4398203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/rudalu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"To be honest, Jake was by no means an artist, but the shape drawn in scribbled yellow and black crayon was definitely, unmistakably Bill Cipher."</p><p>In which Dipper is a baby-sitter, and the kid he's baby sitting's imaginary friend is none other than Bill Cipher.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not-so-imaginary Friend

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by one of those stories about a child with a really creepy imaginary friend. Then it just kinda got out of control. I have another two AUs going on in my head, and neither of them are Going Home, which I should probably update, but can't think of a good chapter idea. So to help get over the block I wrote this.

_'What the fuck?'_ Dipper Pines thought to himself. He didn't say it out loud, of course, because the child he was babysitting was staring at him intently. He'd met some weird kids in the past, but this definitely wasn't what he'd expected from Jake. The kid was a little shit most of the time, always shrieking or knocking things over and claiming it was his imaginary friend's fault. So, after nearly not having enough self restraint to not hit the kid after an incident involving a cat, a razor and a bathtub; Dipper had sat him down and told him to draw his imaginary friend while he cleaned the tub. To be honest, Jake was by no means an artist, but the shape drawn in scribbled yellow and black crayon was definitely, unmistakably Bill Cipher.

  _'What the actual fuck?'_ He thought as he stared at the drawing. "Hey, Dipper, you haven't blinked in ages, are you dead?" Jake asked in that enthusiastic, cheeky voice that seemed to be the go to way for him to speak. The noise snapped Dipper out of his confused daze, and he tors his eyes away from the triangle on the page. "What's your friend's name?" Dipper asks carefully, although he already knows the answer. However, there's a chance this is all a coincidence. But even as he thinks it he doesn't believe it. "Dipper, meet Bill Cipher- oh, he says he already knows you!" Jake beams at the empty air beside him, and Dipper reaches out and pulls the boy away from that spot, glaring at it intently. He can almost hear Bill's obnoxious laughter. "Wellll... I'm gonna go play now! See ya later, Dipper!" And before the young man can do anything, the boy is charging out of the room to go do something that will probably end in a huge mess for dipper to clean up.

 Dipper looks anxiously around the kitchen, wondering what he should do. If Bill could trick him into a deal when he was young, what's to say the same thing wouldn't happen to Jake? He needed to get rid of Bill as soon as possible. "Bill?" He calls quietly. He wonders if the demon would actually show up. He gets his answer when the colour of the room fades out. "Heya, Pine Tree! Boy didn't you grow! No noodle arms here anymore!" Dipper's eye twitched and he readjusted his glasses. "What the hell are you doing here Bill? How come Jake sees you when  you’re not in the mindscape?" Bill rolled his eyes with a chuckle. "I can't share all of my secrets, kid! That would take away all of the fun! I made a few deals, pulled a few strings, it took quite a bit of work, actually."

 "Before you ask, Pine Tree, I haven't made a deal with the kid! I'm not even here for him!" Bill floated towards his face, much too close for comfort. The yellow light the demon radiated shone on his pasty skin. He jerked back, but the demon merely moved closer. "I'm here for you, Pine Tree." Dipper pushed the triangle away from himself, looking confused and more than a little grossed out. "What the actual fuck Bill?" He shot the demon a dirty look, taking a step back. He heard a gasp that turned into a voice that said "Oh man, my mom's gonna be so mad at you for swearing in front of me, Dipper!" Dipper whipped his head round to see Jake with his head stuck round the door. Shit. She was wasn't she? There goes his tip. Giggling, Jake scampered into the dining room, his footfalls slapping on the tiles with each step, seemingly unfazed by the lack of colour.

Dipper took off after him, only to have Bill slam the door in his face. "So, now that we've gotten rid of the audience; how's about a deal, Pine Tree?" Dipper opened his mouth to speak, only to be cut off "I won't make any deals with the kid, and in return you can... Heh..." Dipper shook his head as Bill laughed quietly. No way he was falling for this again. Bill snorted, and he snapped his fingers. In a burst of blue flames, a margarita appeared in each of his hands. "Pine Tree, please. Let's sit and talk about this like adults." His tone was severely patronising, and it made Dipper want to grate his teeth. Bill snapped his fingers again (despite both his hands being full) and Dipper found himself sitting at the breakfast bar.

 Bill placed the drinks down, and snapped his fingers once more. In a burst of flame, Bill’s body transformed into something much more human. However, where his head should be floated the familiar triangle shape. Bill grinned with shiny teeth and sat opposite Dipper. He picked up his drink, ignoring the fact that Dipper was staring at him. "C'mon, Pine Tree! Have a drink! It won't kill ya!" Dipper eyed the drink suspiciously, picking it up and inspecting it as Bill took a few sips of his. "Listen kid, I like you! So, in return for not making a deal with Jake..." -He took a big gulp of his drink, and Dipper set down his own- "I want you to..." Bill leaned across the breakfast bar, and grabbed the front of Dipper's hoodie, pulling him towards him "...Kiss me."

 Dipper jerked back instantly. "Bill, what? No! I-I mean I'm not- this is- you're- I'm-" he fumbled over his words, looking thoroughly perplexed. Bill stared at the young man, whose brain was clearly going a mile a minute. "Fuck you, Bill." Dipper tried to stand up, only to find he couldn't get off the chair. "Oh my, Pine Tree! So forward! Maybe you should buy me a drink first. But do we have a deal?" Bill fluttered his eyelashes. Dipper couldn't move his butt, and he wouldn't put it past Bill to leave him there. He sighed and bit his lip. He needed to put Jake first. What choice did he really have? "Alright, Bill. No deals with Jake! Or any of the other kids I babysit for that matter. And stop telling him to shave the neighbourhood cats!" Bill smiled wolfishly. His eye glowed blue, as his gloved hand burst into flames. "Deal." The fire tingles on Dippers arm, and he instantly regrets sealing the deal. At least the kids would be safe. That would always come before his dignity.

 Bill stood up and walked around to Dipper's side of the bar. Dipper found he could move his butt now, and as he rose, he noticed how much taller than him Bill was. The demon stooped down, a wicked gleam in his eye as he pulled the young man closer. Closer. Dipper grits his teeth, trying to swallow his pride, and all he could think was: ‘Why?’ The gap between them closed.  It was weird. Really weird. Bill's head was a triangle, and he didn't actually have any lips, so it felt to Dipper like he was kissing a brick wall, which in a way he was. He tried to pull back, but Bill yanked him forwards into his chest. Dipper let his eyes shut, trying to pretend whatever this was wasn't happening- _OhgoddidBilljustsqueezehisbutt_?

 He opened his mouth to protest (because touching his ass had NOT been part of the deal), but Bill had clearly been anticipating it, because the second Dipper's mouth was open, a forked tongue slid in. It was really odd, actually, having this strange wet _thing_ in his mouth, tasting faintly like the margarita Bill had drunk earlier. Bill's hands traced along his spine, and the young man shivered. His arms were trapped between the demon and himself, and he found he couldn't do much but squirm in the tight grip. After what felt like an eternity, Bill pulled back, fashing a shit-eating grin at Dipper, who was scraping the top of his tongue with his teeth and trying to look at anything but the demon. Dipper tried to walk away, but Bill pulled him back in closer.

 "I'm not done with you yet Pine Tree. I said kiss me, I never said how many times!" With that, Bill smashed their mouths together again, and Dipper made a muffled, distressed noise as the demon's tongue found its way into his mouth again. This time, Bill seemed much more aggressive, his tongue (literally) wrapping around Dipper's once, before his sharp teeth dug into the boys lip. The young man tried to jerk his head away, but one of Bill's hands was buried in his hair, holding him in place. Bill's tongue retreated to Dipper's lip, where he began lapping up the blood, happily ignoring Dipper's wincing. When it was all gone, the demon licked the side of Dipper's face, leaving trail of saliva along the poor boy's cheek, over the corner of his eye and his eyebrow. This time when he jerked back, Bill let him, smirking as he watched the young man rub the side of his face with his hand, visibly disgusted.

 "You can come out now, kid." Bill practically sang, with a smug look on his stupid triangle face. Dipper spun around, and to his horror, saw Jake stick his head round the grey doorway to the dining room. "That was totally gross! " Jake said as he stepped into the room. Bill snapped his fingers, bursting into flames before returning to his triangular form.  "That's so cool! Can you turn into other things?" The young boy bound over to Bill, staring at the demon with a look of awe and curiosity. Dipper sighed. That was possibly the most humiliating thing that he’d ever had to do. Bill disappeared from his sight, and colour returned; but from the way Jake kept nattering, he presumed the demon was still there.

 After Dipper had hit his head on the table a few times, Jake tapped him on the shoulder. “Dipper, DipperDipperDipper!” The young man slowly lifted his head to look at the boy “Why did you kiss Bill? That was super gross!” Dipper groaned and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “Listen, Jake, you weren’t meant to see that… I knew Bill when I was a kid, about your age. He tried to do some bad things, I stopped him. He’s… It’s…” Dipper’s eyebrows furrowed. How should he explain this to Jake? He didn’t want to drag the boy down the path that he went down, full of sleepless nights and paranoia; but he also didn't want to shield him from reality like his mother tried to do. “Jake, Bill’s not an imaginary friend; he’s a demon; which is not as cool as you might think. The reason I… did that was for your protection. Now he can’t trick you into a deal or anything. Don’t trust Bill, ok? He’s bad news.”

Jake nodded, staring at Dipper in awe. “So you, like, beat up a demon up when you were my age?! That’s so cool!” Dipper chuckled and ruffled his hair. “‘Beat up’ isn’t the phrase I would use, and my sister really did most of the work.” Jake grinned at him. Finally, it seemed the kid was actually starting to respect him. “Dipper? Bill says _‘I want that drink, Pine Tree’ . A_ nd he also says- Ew! Bill that’s gross, I’m not telling him that! ...Fiiine! Bill says you’re a really good kisser, but put a bit more passion into it when the two of you _‘really get into it’_.” Jake frowned “What does that even mean?” If Dipper had been drinking anything, he would have spat it out. “NOTHING.” Dipper answered, much too quickly to seem remotely believable. “It doesn’t mean anything, Jake. And that is not happening, Bill! Not now, not ever.” With that, he stood up and walked out of the room. Jake wondered why Dipper’s face was so red.


End file.
